H is for Happy week 7

It's that time of week again! Okay so it's not really a specific time because I don't have this go out on a specific day for multiple reasons...However I'm in a fairly good mood today because a Lush has opened up in Sunderland (finally) and the uni lecturers are striking so I was free to go to it as soon as it opened. Greeted by a lovely glass of bucks fizz I restocked my bath bombs, bought a sneaky something for my mamma for mother's day and scraped together enough change (poor man in Lush had to deal with all my 10ps and 20ps...whoops) for a charity pot. Plus my Internet's been fairly decent today so I've been able to download a few sermons to watch.

Anyway rambling introduction out of the way, here is this week's H is for Happy:

• Getting excited for stuff. Michelle and I have officially started our "OHMYGOODNESSTAYLORSWIFTSOON!!!" messages. We will probably look something like Spongebob and Patrick with the beautiful wide eyes and excited grins next Wednesday seeing the lovely Taylor Swift in London.

• "You have been tagged by ______ in x new photos" Yes facebook informing me I've been tagged in photos make me happy. Why? Because my brother's girlfriend puts up photos of my niece and nephew then tags the family in them which means I get to see them even when I'm over 200 miles away. How adorable is my nephew here?!

• The Holiday is possibly one of my favourite films and tends to be right up there as a go to film when I need cheering up. I've had a rubbish few weeks and this film was needed so on it went! I actually adore Jack Black in this film and the character of Amanda's next door neighbour is easily the best character in the film.

• Emma Watson gets two pictures this week. Why? Because I couldn't pick between these two outfits taken on the set of her latest modelling (ooo get here) shot for Lancome. The 'daytime' look works brilliantly thanks to the hat and the tie and I love the mix of texture in the 'night' look. Plus her hair looks amazing slicked back like that.

AND FINALLY...

• "The sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hip-hooray. The sun has got his hat on and he’s coming out today" The sun has been shining beautifully over the last few days and I've been able to venture out in just a cardigan (admittedly my hoody still comes with me but I haven't had to wear it yet. Hurrah!)

Grieving issues

Grief is a funny old thing. For some people it’s easy to express: they openly grieve, sobbing at anything that reminds them of that which they have lost. Other people are completely opposite. They find it difficult to convey how they feel, or even admit to themselves how they feel and thus the grief isn’t deal with.

Why on earth am I writing such a blog post? You may ask. I’m writing it because for the last few weeks I have been grieving. Or supposed to have been grieving. For some bizarre reason or other I’ve been finding it quite impossible to grieve properly. I’m not heartless or uncaring because this is a loss which effects me greatly and cuts deeply and yet I just can’t seem to outwardly grieve.

So what exactly does Cameron Diaz have to do with this issue? If you’ve seen the film The Holiday (it also had Jude Law, Jack Black and Kate Winslet in it) then you might remember her character Amanda Woods. Amanda cannot cry at the beginning of the movie. Even when her boyfriend (or husband, but I think boyfriend) cheats on her and she throws him out. She’s effected enough to go from America to England for Christmas but she can’t cry, even though she tries her hardest.

And that is why she’s relevant. I can’t seem to cry about this. It took my boyfriend close to 45 minutes to even get an emotional response from me and that passed in a matter of moments. I know I need to grieve properly and it is affecting me otherwise. I’ve lost weight without intending or attempting to – jeans bought for me approximately a month ago are baggy enough to fit a side-facing fist down the side and constantly slip down so I have to pull them up what feels like every five seconds.

So I’m appealing for help: any ideas how I can process this grief properly? Talking doesn’t seem to have much of an impact as I just go numb to my feelings and I’d like to deal with it rather than bottle it up which is never healthy.